Storms rock. There's the sunshine afterward to look forward to.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Boredom
Yeah. I'm freaking bored. Orientation 2 ended and for the following week, that is, this week, we have to follow a special timetable with only lectures while they're busy making our timetables. Can't be helped, I know, but still...
Take a look. Tuesday. The computing class comes for assembly at 0725 hrs. It's raining, by the way, so assembly's cancelled. And they must wait in the freaking school until 1140 for the GP lecture. What they do before that is beyond me.
And then there's me. Thursday. Today. Assembly started as per usual, no rain, thank God. And I was spacing out until 0840, when I had to proceed for Maths lecture. And from the time it ended until now? A-B-S-O-L-U-T-E-L-Y N-O-T-H-I-N-G. Yes. I'm reduced to doing mindless things on my laptop once I run out of constructive things to do. Makes me wonder if anyone could consider this post a constructive thing to do. You make the call.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
You Know What???
And it's become the question of my life. I can walk into a conversation now, and when I open my mouth, they ask along with me. You know what?
You know what? No, I do not. I do not know what. Therefore, obviously, I'm counting on you, Matthew Yee, to tell me.
It's interesting, really. I have only just realized exactly how I would not have 93% of my conversations if I never had a story to share everytime I saw somebody.
It's also very interesting that my life is so interesting. It's taken a long long long long loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time, but with the aid of friends, I have come to the realisation that my life is a wonderful life. A lot of things happen around me. Or I find everything around me interesting. However it is, there's always some story to tell. And eventually, I would be really happy and touched if I ever found out at the end of it all that someone out there has managed to see life in a better light after I came into their story.
I thank God, really. My God who always takes me out of depression because He is my Joy. My God who removes my stress because He is my Peace. My God who always takes me out of loneliness because He is my Best Friend. My God who tells me what to do because He is my Heavenly Father. My God who enables me to see everything as interesting because He is the imaginative Creator. My God who inspires me to love people because He loved me so much He took the penalty for my wrongs and died in my place.
You know what? When you just want to sit down and cry, God wipes your tears and makes you laugh. When you can only do 10 things and have to do 50, God helps you do 51. When it seems like you have no friends, God invites you to the movies. When you make a mistake, God says "How fascinating!" and teaches you the correct way. When life seems drab and monochromatic, God drops a heavenly paint bucket on it. When everyone is just so easy to hate, God reminds you that He loved you, He loves you, and shows you how to love everyone.
And you know what? God touches, helps and loves, so we ourselves can touch, help and love. I may not be God, or even come close at all in my wildest dreams, but I surely can show someone how wonderful life can be. And that's what I hope to do, by asking everytime I meet someone:
"You know what?"
Monday, February 25, 2008
Transition
You know how difficult it is when you're in transition? Take a look.
Most of the Indo-scholars. And me. Taken in the SJII condo. This year. We just can't stand it, not laughing and screaming and whacking each other like we used to before in CJC Hostel. And so, we must meet up every once in a while. Our split-up was a transition we could not stand.For some reason which I am now unable to remember, I had a very interesting story to share with my friends yesterday. So, I ran up to the 7th floor of the hostel, and burst through the door of my room to the inside. I shouted eagerly:
"Hey Kenneth! You know what?"
An empty room. Kenneth had already left 3 hours ago. I could almost sense him giving me 'the look'.
"MATTHEW! I'M ALREADY GONE, YOU KNOW... WHY ARE YOU STILL LOOKING FOR ME HERE?"
And it's a fact I have yet to fully accept.
Still, being in transition isn't all bad. For example,
The transition has officially been completed. I am now fully a TJ-Cian.
Still, as the esteemed Brother Michael Broughton said during our graduation ceremony, "Once a Josephian, always a Josephian." And while I'm enjoying having passed through the transition to TJC, I'll never ever forget SJI, or all the experiences and halcyon days prior to this...Friday, February 22, 2008
Zenith II
It's the day after the third and final day of Orientation 2: Zenith II. I have been an Orientation Group Leader for 3 whole days. My enthusiasm reached its zenith. My voice has reached the zeniths of volume I never knew I could do, and now, I sound like the final boss of some weird techno-rpg... This morning, I tried some vocal 'exercises' but couldn't manage a squeak.
Think I was stressed? Unless you're an OGL too, you couldn't have known the stress I faced. Still, unless you've known me for at least a month, you'd think the stress would affect me. Well, it didn't. So there! Haha!Think I enjoyed myself? Of course! I loved the whole 3 days and I wish it never ended. Then again, if it went on forever, we would all die eventually from exhaustion. Not to mention it would get rather boring after a while cheering our hearts and souls out. But still, it was great fun, and I really really want to be an OGL for next year now... Here's to all the OGMs in my OG and also my fellow OGLs! Thanks for making Zenith II a wonderful experience for me. OG8, Slithas and Yaya baik! *Baik, baik, baik baik!*
I must admit though, I was rather shocked at the final outcome of the Orientation. Panthera got second, while Zephon clinched the champion trophy. Slithas had to be ahead. I knew for a fact that Slithas won the Mass Games, The Act, and B-Manji. We also did spectacularly well for the College Trivia, even though we didn't win, and we managed to hold our own in the cheering thanks to our wonderful OGMs who by the second day were willing to be enthu-d up. But, we still didn't get into the top 2 clans. I have my own ideas about why, some involving a certain person who screwed up the scoring by pushing Zephon a long way ahead by giving 6000 points in one go! But it doesn't matter now, it's all over, and I'm kinda sad, but happy for everything I went through.
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
It's Confirmed.
Approximately one hour ago, my trepidation, my worry, my anxiety, my beating heart and rushing adrenalin were all calmed.For I am staying.
Right here.
In TJC.
Yeah.
Sadly, though, not all scholars share my joyous fate. Kenneth is posted to CJC, Timothy to AJC, Henry to NJC. I offer a prayer to these three and the other moving scholars that God will help them enjoy their new environment and that they wouldn't be too disappointed.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Valentine's Day
After approximately 1800 years, that is, one point eight millenia, Valentine's Day has become known throughout most of the world as a day where one reveals his or her love interest, or merely seeks to inculcate a general feeling of happiness by sending anyone he/she knows chocolate or flowers or a similar well-intentioned gift. To put it in a distinct 'Yoda' phrasing, "A happy moment, Valentine's Day has become."
It was not so approximately 1800 years ago.
Valentine's Day is so named because of the numerous early Christian martyrs (all named Valentine O_0) who died for Jesus. They all strove to bring Jesus to their world, their immediate environment, and much more. Within the period from AD197 to AD269, coincidentally, numerous Valentine's died for Jesus while trying to bring his love to the people they cared for. To them, the greatest gift they could give was the love of Jesus. And the fact of the matter was they were giving this present long before Valentine's Day was established. Heck, they weren't even going to live to see the first Valentine's Day. But they gave anyway.
It matters not if you're reading this and you're not a Christian. I still challenge you to, in the true spirit of giving, just like the Saint Valentines of olde did, to show someone that you care for him/her. Do not give love because tradition says you have to, or you feel obligated to do so. Give love because it is one of the greatest and most long-lasting gift anyone can give.
Happy Valentine's Day!!!
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Leadership
It's all about leadership.
The responsibility that one carries to make sure that those under his/her charge succeed in their task.
The leader carries quite a greater amount of power, of authority than those under him/her, but this also means the price to pay for failure is also exponentially higher.
Leaders have different names, different titles, depending on the task at hand, the setting and of course, the people under him/her.
General. Executive Manager. Student Council Leader. Father. Leader of all the microscopic wiggly things in an individual's body. Everyone is a leader in their own right. And there are an uncountable number of 'levels of leadership'. For instance, a general might wield much more power than a mere lieutenant. True, there are 'nominal leaders' who are being controlled by their 'subordinates', but let's not go there.
The point is, leadership is a great burden, and there is only so much leadership one can be appointed to and not crack under the strain. Every individual has a unique capacity for leadership. Some certainly have it, others must be trained, others just don't.
I don't know which of the three groups I belong to. But I'd better find out fast. I need to know if I will be able to handle the strain of Chem rep, Orientation Group Leader, Connect Group Leader (to come, hopefully), 'Supervisor' of four of my fellow hostelites and master of all the microscopic wiggly things in my body. All rather small responsibilities, one might add, but then again, a sea of nothingness creates something. And that something is rather great...
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Be Careful...
The key here is to be careful. Really. Really. Careful.
You are blindfolded. At nighttime. In a room with no lights. And no windows. Infrared, night-vision and geiger goggles are out of the question. In short, light holds no place in your world. No chance of sudden illumination into the way things are. You are forever in the dark.
What could be worse? Oh, I don't know, maybe the fact that you're in a MINEFIELD?!?!?!?
Yeah. It's a minefield all right. And you have no map, no GPRS to guide you, no save point for you mysteriously re-appear after the explosion so you can point to a certain spot and say: "Well, there's a mine over there... Note to self, don't step there..."
Be careful. Exceedingly careful. You have to navigate through the minefield of people's perception of you. There is a 24-7 danger. You may make all the right moves for 50 years, but with one wrong step, a person's view of you blows up in your face and starts a chain reaction which ends up in all the mines exploding. Nuclear Armaggedon. No, if this ever happens to you, it'll be even worse than Nuclear Armageddon. Why, you ask?
Because at least Nuclear Armageddon will kill you. With the Perception Blowup, you'll be wholly and completely alive to feel the agony. At least, since you're alive, you can at least try to make up for your wrong step.
I've made my move. What's your reply?
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Confusion
I'm confused. Really really confused. The following excerpt from a song describes it perfectly.
Should I take the ball down the middle then I shoot the shot?
I move fast when I dribble, watch out for the block.
I lose focus when I think of her name...
I gotta get get my head in the game...
Does she think about me? Does she feel the same way?
Does she think about me? Does she feel the same way?
Should I shoot for a 3? Gotta stay in game play...
I think I'm going insane!
Can't get her out of my brain!
Gotta get'cha, get'cha head in the game
Gotta get'cha, get'cha head in the game
Gotta get'cha get'cha get'cha get'cha head in the game
Gotta get'cha, get'cha head in the game
Gotta get'cha get'cha get'cha get'cha head in the game!
-From "Get'cha Head in The Game" by B5-
Has it ever felt this way to you? And not just the way it means in the song. See living as a game.
Imagine. Your life as an endless basketball game. Every friend you make is a 2-pointer. Every good friend is a 3-pointer. But along the way, life, circumstances beyond your control, block you, push you back down the court, and you must dribble through them all. Whether you manage to score or not all depends on your skill at dribbling. How good are you at making friends? How good are you at correcting the wrongs in relationships, the fouls in the game? Are your actions merely creating oppurtunities for your enemies to sink free throws? And the best part is, you can't even afford to think it through for too long. Just like the shot clock in basketball, in life you also have an insanely limited time to think through words to shoot at the person and see if you score or not.There are no timeouts. No substitutes. Only temporary teammates, who may betray you any time. In this sense, life is exponentially more difficult than any basketball game, because the stakes are so high. Once you lose, there's no turning back.
But you know, although I believe that everything i just mentioned is true, that's not what I'm concerned about right now. I just feel exactly the way the song excerpt describes it. And I have no idea what to do...
