Storms rock. There's the sunshine afterward to look forward to.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Between A Rock and A Hard Place
Yes, I shall not bother to romanticize it. There's no need to. We've all faced tough choices sometime in life. If you haven't, you really need to get a life. But I digress. The choices I had to make today have led me to question what some of priorities in life really are.
Choice 1. The aftermath of our Strengths Quest testing, a purchased privilege so my batch could get a better idea of what their personality strengths were. We were tasked eons ago to do the test. After the test, we had to write a feedback/reflection at-least-100-words email to the company giving them, well, our feedback. I liked the idea of Strengths Quest, and told them as much, with a bit of elaboration. I had not the faintest idea our emails, depending on how useful our feedback was, had a chance of winning a Borders or Haagen Dasz voucher.
So imagine the shock when my name was read out this morning. The first response was shocked disbelief. I mean, my luck is such that I NEVER win lucky draws. Okay, fine, with one exception, this one. But that is precisely why I felt so shocked today. And in my shock, I never heard which of the vouchers I had won. And I think it is incredibly funny that there are those who swear on their *insert whatever here* that I won a Borders voucher, while others swear just as violently that I won Haagen Dasz. You'd think that when people stood a chance of winning ANYTHING, especially here in Singapore, they'd pay attention.
Later on, during Drama, Mr Heng (the endlessly cool teacher who set up the Strengths Quest for my batch) passed by our motley crew by chance. He asked how I felt about winning something. Kind of a no-brainer question. But I also told him I never caught the statement which would tell me what exactly I had won. He chuckled and asked me which of the two I would prefer. And that question, I could not answer.
Winning ice-cream supports everything my personality commands. Treat my friends. Celebrate. Share my blessing with those who matter much to me. But winning (in essence) a free book supports the more quiet side of my life. Books ARE my entire quiet life. And I love reading. Anyone who knows me can tell you that. Someone even said once to me she could see my eyes sparkle when I heard of a book sale down at Kallang Leisure Park.
Look at me argue with myself. I think the GP essays have gotten to me. But the question stands. Which of the two WOULD I prefer? And I still can't answer that question.
Choice 2. Drama Club meeting. Our much-loved (actually, by using this term I do it much injustice. The word isn't strong enough. In fact, none are.) Gold with Honours SYF Play will be lovingly put up again, for the final time, before we finally let go of it and turn our focus to the future. Sure, some seniors would rather be studying, and none of us can possibly blame them, and so have released them from their obligations as part of the team, leaving us with a smaller crew and a cast that has gaps that must be filled with other blood. But it's still looking good.
Our play will be shown on the 16th of August, Saturday. Which would not be a problem if I didn't have Temasek Model United Nations (which I ironically signed up for under my own free will a few months before) on the very same day. The event ends at 6, and the play starts at 7.30, meaning I can still crew, like I always have. Problem is, due to the possibility that I might be too late, understandably I cannot have any key role. And so I must be stripped of my previous role as assistant stage lights manager.
I don't suppose this is really a choice. I mean, after all, to get out of TMUN, we have to face Mr. Aziz. So really, I have no choice at all. But I ask myself: What would I rather be doing? Would I want more to see my article in the special Politics issue of the Temasek Times as a proud member of the Press Corps, or help my lighting manager flip switches just like before? What would I feel more fulfilled doing, satisfying my love for writing, or playing a more major role in helping the cast make magic for the last time? The pencil, or the stage? I guess I'll never really know.
But I do know this (or at least, I think it). Our choices change to fit our circumstances. But that is a philosophical debate for another time. Besides, the KI students would probably be more equipped to tackle this topic.
