Words of the Prosecution III

"Humans are fragile, fickle beings. Our hearts change with the shifting of the tides." - Prosecutor Godot


What makes the difference between the resolve of one person against the resolve of another? We all know that different people have different levels of determination as well as decisiveness. Otherwise, there would be no need to even invent the words 'indecisive' and 'undetermined'.


There are many reasons why one's resolve would falter. Perhaps the two sides of a choice are equally important to the one making the choice. Perhaps one is threatened by external forces or circumstance to change his mind. These are but two of the many reasons why someone may appear to be fickle. It also implies human fragility as it shows that humans can be influenced to some extent to abandon their convictions and change their minds on the fly. In this case, then in boils down to the strength of one's convictions. If one firmly believes in something, and this belief is unshakeable, then getting such a person to change his mind would be akin to trying to wear down a mountain by whacking it with your fist.


Or you could say that it shows versatility and adaptability. After all, not all changes of heart mean a person is fragile. Take for instance, the student doing a maths question. Upon realising that a particular method of solving a question will result in a tedious and long-winded solution-making process, the intelligent student immediately switches to a method of solving which not only gets the answer faster, but is also easier on the marker's eyes. In some cases, the ability to quickly change one's mind can actually help the situation. We applaud this kind of 'fickle-mindedness'.


I believe that inherently, humans are fickle beings, and to some extent fragile as well, because we can be influenced. But unlike Godot seems to believe, this nature is not undefeatable by us humans, nor is it always a bad thing. While it is true that in some cases, some people deserve to be condemned for a change of heart, sometimes, they deserve to be lauded. Then we must decide for ourselves how to distinguish between the two.


If we think of it this way, Prosecutor Godot is not completely right, then.

Delay

Crud. There'll be a delay in the lyrics posting because I'm too busy to take time off to derive the lyrics everyday. I'd take the lyrics from the internet, but then again, most people who post what they THINK are the lyrics are incredibly hopeless.


I mean, how can someone mishear "Don't be afraid" as "To be afraid" and not realise that anything's wrong???


What with PW, CG Rep problems, the continuing of the syllabus, the Mother Tongue A Level Exam, OGL worries, H3 Bio worries and regrets for not having the capacity to cope with Mazarin, it's a wonder I can actually try to derive lyrics in the first place...

High School Musical Fever

It started with "Now or Never", and as the release date for the movie draws near, I shall post the lyrics in order for one song everyday from now until I go through the whole song list. Mwahaha...

An Amazing Love Story

He met her during a party.


She was so outstanding, with many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, that nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him. She was surprised, but for purposes of being polite, she accepted.


They sat in a nice coffee shop. He was too nervous to say anything, so much so that she felt uncomfortable.


She thought, "Please, let me go home..."


Suddenly, he asked the waiter. "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee."


Everybody stared at him, he was so strange! His face turned red, but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, "Why do you have this liking?"


He replied: ''When I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, and I liked playing in it. I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of salty coffee. Now, every time I have salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown. I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there.'' While saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched, and she could tell, this was his honest feelings, from the bottom of his heart. This was a man who was not ashamed to reveal his homesickness. He was a man who loved home, cared about home, and felt responsible for home. Then she also started to speak, she spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.


That was a really nice conversation, and also the beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that he was a man who met all her needs. He had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, and careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him, but didn't, thanks to his salty coffee! Like every beautiful love story, the princess married the prince, and then they lived happily ever after. And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that was the way he liked it.


After 40 years, he passed away, and left her a letter which said:

''My dearest, please forgive me for my lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time. Actually, I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was even more embarrassing for me to correct myself, so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I promised not to lie to you for anything, and I was scared of what you would think once I told you."


"Now I'm dying, and I'm afraid of nothing, so I tell you the truth: I don't like salty coffee. What a strange bad taste. But I have had that salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never felt sorry for anything I did for you.. Having you with me was my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I could live a second time, I would still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even if I had to drink the salty coffee again. After all, it was the salty coffee that brought us together."


Her tears made the letter totally wet. One day, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?"


"It's sweet," she replied.


Love is not to forget but to forgive.

Not to see but to understand.

Not to hear but to listen.

Not to let go but to hold on!

Magnets

For all I have said about loving electricity and therefore by extension, electromagnets, it seems that my feelings are not reciprocated. The magnet Pontianaks are clearly out to get me. I was just walking out of the 7th floor this morning. I released the magnetic lock, and as I pushed open the door, the magnet fell right on me. And while it hurt like hell, the wound was nothing at first. I only started bleeding around two hours later. So take heed, young Padawans. Electricity is very very powerful.

What You Need Is Positivity

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up; she was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.


Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.


In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ' Tell me what you see.'


'Carrots, eggs, and coffee,' she replied.


Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.


Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'


Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.


'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?


Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?


Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?


Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?


May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.


The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. In other words, embrace the spirit of Positivity!!!


When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.


Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


This goes to those who have touched my life in one way or another; to those who make my smile when I really need it; to those who made me see the brighter side of things when I was really down; to those whose friendships I appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in my life.


May we all be COFFEE!!! Let's all have ENERGEEE!!! And POSITIVITEEE!!!

Memories

I think that when one gets older, it becomes increasingly entertaining to walk down memory lane and look upon your life and laugh good-naturedly at all the fun you had, all the mistakes you made and all the blessings and trials that came your way.


I leave a message to my 40 year old self (that is, if my blog still exists then...). 40 year old Matthew, can you crack the code you yourself placed for you 23 and a bit more years before this?


Fourty-one.


Here's a hint: Evocem vos magister fulguralis.


If you crack it, here's a few questions. Can you laugh at this memory? What happened to it? Have you managed to make it apply to yourself, 23 and a bit more years later?

English Jokes

You don't need to be particularly good at english to understand these jokes. I mean, what are dictionaries for, eh?

The Shortest Essays
This is a story of a 16 year old boy from New Hampshire , England who
won the World's shortest essay competition. He was awarded a
scholarship at the University of Harvard for his imagination and
humour ...Here's an example of absolute brilliance....

An English university creative writing class was asked
to write a concise essay containing the following elements:

1) Religion 2) Royalty 3) Sex 4) Mystery

The prize-winner wrote:

'My God,' said the Queen, 'I'm pregnant. I wonder who the father is.'


Similarly, a girl from a secondary school in Singapore wrote for the essay component of the English O Level Exam on the question 'Courage'. It went like this:

"This is courage."

I forgot what her grade was, but she didn't fail.


Message from the Queen

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II:


In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately.
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)


Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).


Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.


To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
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1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,''favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist,then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys.Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
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13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.


God Save the Queen!
PS: Only for those who have a good sense of humour (NOT humor)!

Now or Never

This song really struck home with me, and I'd like to share it with all those whom I think will be struck the same way I was, including but not limited to those taking the A Level Mother Tongue Exams this year, the seniors as they prepare for the A Levels and the scholars on probation. The song may not apply exactly, but I think you'll get the drift.

PW Woes (Not Mine)

In the rare event that one of the members from THAT PW group stumbles across this and understands what I'm talking about, I just want to say that you're treating your member very harshly.


He's been working his butt off because of the demands of the project. He may have not always been this way, but he's working hard now. I've seen him. I've even seen the fruits of his efforts. He genuinely wanted to contribute to the group effort. But undeniably, life sometimes throws you into a pinch. All traces of his efforts disappeared. Through circumstances he could not control. Before you could witness his efforts. And what then? You don't even give him a chance. You don't give him the benefit of the doubt.


You insist (rather tactlessly) that he rummage through garbage over and over again like some slave in search of the items that disappeared. You send him all around Singapore to do jobs even when you know he lost his wallet, his EZ-Link card along with it. Heck, you even ask other people behind his back whether he really did his job. I say hell, yeah, he did.


I know that despite the fact that he's disadvantaged and had strokes of bad luck, it's still PW, and results must be produced no matter what the obstacles are. But if you're going to scold him, don't scold him for lack of effort, nor irresponsibility, nor for lack of caring about the project. After all he's done for your (and his) project, it is a damn insult to scold him for those reasons.

Musings of the Underperforming

Barring death, tragic events happening to you or people you care about, and love problems, the worst possible feeling one could possibly have is having hope dashed to bits.


'The past wouldn't bother me anymore'? I want to believe, but it seems that I can't let it go just yet. How could I, with the past continuously sneering in my face and taunting me, telling me that even though I threw away my past, it's not as if life became better. No, it did, but it's still tainted.


I don't need reminders that I'm underperforming. THAT painful truth, I know too well. It breathes down my breath every time our academic prowess is tested. And being in the land of high standards and expectations doesn't help either.


Do I know I'm in danger? Yup. Do I care? Infinitely. Am I doing anything about it? Not enough, it seems. The promos were an indicator of that. Can I reach where I need to in time? God willing, I pray so.


Just when I thought I had it worked out.


Ok, enough. Breathe. God, ignite my Positivity again, please. I want to smile, and smile honestly at that, not the guarded sad smile, but the easy-coming infectious smile. Please, Father. Now, without Your joy, it's all I can do not to cry more than is healthy. But the tears just keep coming.

Words of the Prosecution II

Preparation is the last refuge of the weak. - Prosecutor Godot


I am strictly opposed to the word 'last'. Say we have someone who is considered 'weak', and to counter this weakness for a relevant task he must perform, he earnestly prepares himself for it. Of course, in doing so, depending on the quality and quantity of that said preparation, he proportionately increases his probability of succeeding at that task. But, to reiterate, the word 'last' is inaccurate.


For purposes of simplicity, let's give our example of a 'weak' person an identity. Let's say he's a student in a JC in Singapore, and his 'weakness' happens to be being particularly lacking in academic 'strength'. He approaches his JC1 Promotional Exams. If he fails these, he gets retained. Therefore, he musters up some willpower to work towards his goal of getting promoted and to prove to others as well as himself that he is capable. Again, his studying, depending on quality and quantity, proportionately increases his chances of succeeding. But, yet again, his preparation is not his 'last' refuge.


Reflect on the strange element of the human psyche called faith. No, not the religious form. The general term 'faith' which applies to a belief that something will/might happen, against whatever odds there are. This is inextricably linked to that force which we refer to by whatever name, be it luck, fortune, fate, karma, blessing, divine preordination, divine intervention, or what have you. This is, in my opinion, more suited to be referred to as the last refuge of the 'weak', a groundless, baseless belief that an unseen intervening force MAY shift circumstances in their favour.


For a short laugh, ponder for a moment on Murphy's Law ("If something can go wrong, it definitely will."), and of course the related statement made by a witty author ("If something can go wrong, it definitely will. However, the force which seeks to make it go wrong is also trying to accomplish a task, and therefore, is also subject to the very same law. How else do you explain why things go right?")


However, whether the last refuge of the 'weak' be preparation or faith in the existence of intervening forces, it is not only the 'weak' who take solace in these things, but also undoubtedly the 'strong'. Think about it. Are not the 'strong' considered so because they are, in most cases, more prepared than their competition? And no matter how 'strong' somebody is, using the example of a student, won't the 'strong' student hope anyway that luck (or whatever you believe it to be) is on his side and he gets questions he can answer well, or hope his marker is lenient, or understanding of his answering style? After all, it remains an irrefutable, although humbling, fact that despite the level of preparation, one may screw up at any time, since no one can possibly to prepare for something 100%. In the quasi-infinite creativity of humans, teachers, bosses and people in power can always dream up new, innovative and original ways to test someone's mettle.


Therefore, the inaccuracies of the statement, in my opinion, are that
1) Faith in intervening power(s) is/are the last refuge of the 'weak'
2) This applies not only to the 'weak', but to the 'strong' as well


Furthermore, if you had bothered to notice, I have been putting inverted commas on most of the word 'weak' and its respective word forms. This is, unarguably, because ideas of weakness and strength are relative. Hence, the whole statement, if seen this way, is either completely inaccurate or lacking in depth.


If we think of it this way, Prosecutor Godot is wrong, then.

Words of the Prosecution

It is impossible to predict what the future has in store for any of us. This is precisely why people feel the need to judge the past. And we of the court have been charged with the solemn duty of passing such judgement. - Prosecutor Godot


Forget the courtroom, it is true in many instances where people call back memories and events of the past to try predict the future or understand the present. Take for instance, knowing a thief personally. Knowing what he has done before, we (whether knowingly or not) deprive him of his second chance to be trusted because we judge him for his past and try our best to keep our stuff away from him while we know he'll be alone with our stuff. One might say it's only logical to do so. But then it begs the question: Who are we to decide what someone will or will not do?


Prevention is better than cure, people say. That may be true in some, or most, instances, but what if some people have truly regretted their actions and are never given the chance to prove that they have turned over new leaves? How then would they feel? Is it a risk we are willing to take? If so, we run a different risk, that of not quite knowing exactly the extent to which someone can be a wonderful person, once he throws away the chains of his past and turns back to the side of good.


Sometimes, the chains of the past someone bears may be made heavier than desired because people make them heavier by constantly calling them to mind when they would like nothing better but to forget them. Bringing back the example of the thief, if he had truly reformed, he would be devastated once his friend makes a comment to another friend like "I'll follow you. Oh wait, *insert name here* will be alone with my stuff." A variation of this comment might be made in jest, or subconciously as we consider what we know of the person. But to the reformed thief, it is a painful reminder of how his future with the same people is that much different because his past is constantly judged.


Those are the consequences of his wrongdoing? That can be true, but such treatment of the reformed thief (or any wrongdoer) will only exacerbate his situation. For the truly reformed, the guilt and punishment were enough consequence, and the scar that is left hurts enough, without the help of others to constantly prod it before it heals, if it ever does.


Are we humans so self-centered that our primary thoughts are to guard against any perceived possible danger to ourself and our belongings without solid proof? Past events are not enough reason to inflict such emotional pain on people who have truly repented and want to forget the past. Perhaps then the key to all this is not to try and predict futures by judging pasts, but thinking through whether the judged deserves the right not to be judged so. Maybe we ought to think rather on whether the person in question has learnt his lesson and hence deserves his painful past to be erased.


If we think of it this way, Prosecutor Godot is wrong, then.

TMUN Memorable Quotes

Somehow, I doubt that the Temasek Times would agree to put the memorable quotes into an issue, so here it is on-blog in full.


For those who don't know or forgot, TMUN (Temasek Model United Nations) had wonderful delegates who occasionally forgot that they were delegates or made statements of unbelievable wit and/or sarcasm, and as editor of the press corps, I saw it within my reporter/paparazzi duties to compile a collection of those statements.


*Disclaimer* The following quotes are not meant to insult the position of any country within the true United Nations Assembly and are merely meant to point out where the diplomatic talents of our mock delegates could be refined.


‘This delegate thanks the USA for the INSIGHTFUL question, and will be answering this question at a later time, with several footnotes’ – Sudan evidently doesn’t really think the question posed by the USA was very insightful


Afghanistan - ‘Fistfights can still happen, but what will a war be without arms? Do you see the USA going into war without arms?’
USA – ‘Yes, but we do not do it without cause.’
Afghanistan – ‘Then what about the Iraqi civilians that USA troops fired on?’
USA – ‘We did not do it intentionally. Whoever does such a thing would be heavily prosecuted.’
All other countries try to hold back their disbelieving laughter.


‘Some people are wise, some people are otherwise’ – The Press Corps Editor, who does not know exactly where the delegates are in this dichotomy


‘I want to question… who was that?... Russia!’ – France must have left her script at her table


‘I hope you all had a wonderful lunch.’ – Russia opens up with a nice word before verbally assaulting every other delegate present


‘We have nothing to contribute to this discussion except cashew nuts.’ – Vietnam has great pride in her very widespread cashew nut trade


‘May I remind you that Russia’s arms sales only account for 10% of the total, the other 90% being contributed by the French Republic and China, who unfortunately is not present here due to unforeseen circumstances… I congratulate China on their incredible gold tally’ – Russia knows when to use the term ‘unforeseen circumstances’


‘That’s from Wikipedia! I know you’re all on Wikipedia!’ – Russia realizes why every delegate is suddenly armed to the teeth with current affairs information


‘Do you think, Russia, that oil will just pop out from the ground?’ – Afghanistan. Oh, if only diplomats really spoke like this…


‘Yes, we are representing Iran. We agreed to this over American fried chicken yesterday during dinner.’ – Russia seems to harbor murderous intent towards Americans and their poultry


‘But the USA was in Afghanistan and Iraq and now is in Iran for SUPPOSED WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION. WELL, MY DEAR DELEGATE, WHERE ARE THEY???’ – Russia isn’t one to mince words. I guess when your country is bigger than any other you get a license to question people rudely.


‘CAN WE PLEASE FOCUS ON A SOLUTION?’ - Indonesia has a revelation of her true duty


USA – ‘Have you ever wondered…’
Sudan – ‘You’re on Wiki, aren’t you?’
Sudan finds the USA’s sudden bright idea suspicious.


‘Actually, I want to go home’ – Japan feels his input is not required during this particular debate


‘Are you, like, still watching anime?’ – Peru realizes that Japan has a lot of resources to keep him entertained during dry debates


‘The Secretary General isn’t Ban-Ki-Moon! It’s Akash Shah! Akash Shah!’ – USA and Russia seem to think the Model United Nations is real…


‘The fact that Sudan has sent a charming delegate obviously shows that they are willing to look for a solution’ – Indonesia clearly has a masters’ degree in diplomacy


‘I would like to suggest the following policy: pee on fields, not toilet bowls. The purpose of this is to solve the desertification problem’ – USA’s take on solving desertification


USA – ‘Come on, now, what is Russia good at?’
Russia – ‘Everything!’
Admittedly, USA should have seen this coming…


Japan – ‘Technically, there is…’
USA – ‘HE SPEAKS!!’
Japan finally speaks after a long anime marathon, and the USA is clearly unaware of Japan’s articulating powers.


‘We are supposed to propose general, feasible solutions, rather than… *USA moves laptop away sheepishly* YouTube’ – Sudan has quick eyes that jump between the delegates’ laptop screens


France – ‘No, we are not selling them arms! We are just providing them with…’
Russia and USA – ‘ARMS!’
Russia and USA realize the shining truth that there is no other word that can replace ‘arms’ and are remarkably quick on the uptake.


‘It’s sugar free! It’s a laxative!’ – Russia advertises sugar-free products during a debate. And condemns constipation.


‘Why not plant miles and miles of poppy seeds for medicine?’ – Peru has great faith in the medicinal value of poppy seeds


‘Poppy seed planting is unviable because they are only used for drugs like morphine and cough syrup… and it can be used to make OPIUM’ – Russia reminds Peru why the planting of poppies was never carried out


‘Has Sudan even agreed to such planting of crops?’ – The Deputy Secretary General finds it strange that Sudan doesn’t get a say in determining the solution to her own problem and that Peru and Russia are pursuing the solution so enthusiastically.


‘Esti probably has wild parties in school when we’re not around’ – The USA delegate lapses out of character for a brief moment in shock at finding out the Student Council President has the UN Assembly Hall…er…TJ keys.


‘I recall the delegate of Sudan saying that she was confused. Well, I can clearly see that.’ – Afghanistan needs to be reminded on the need for decorum


‘You talked about creating a demilitarised zone, but if it was that simple, why not demilitarise the whole African zone? You’ll solve all the problems there that way!’ – Afghan is well versed in sarcasm


‘There are other plants such as aloe vera which have medicinal values…’ – USA refuses to let the poppy discussion die down


Sudan – ‘Signatories, please?’
Qatar – ‘Qatar’
Russia – ‘Prata?’
The Russian delegate obviously found the American fried chicken insufficient sustenance.


‘I LOVE your job! Can we switch places???’ – Japan finally comes to the realization that the Press Corps has been laughing at the delegates for the past two hours


‘I am happy to see that my point on demilitarising the whole of Africa has been brought up so many times, but that was meant to be a sarcastic point.’ – Afghanistan is disappointed that her mastery of sarcastic wit was not acknowledged


Afghanistan – ‘Are they just going to discipline them like two recalcitrant brats?’
Deputy Secretary General – ‘Mind your language!’
It takes a particularly ‘interesting’ phrase to merit a scolding from the Deputy Secretary General of the United Nations.


‘What!? You’re on the speakers’ list???’ *Japan nods* ‘Whoa…’ – USA cannot believe that the anime watcher is speaking again


‘NIPPON! BANZAI!’ – Japan is immensely patriotic


‘I have no idea why you’re talking about medicinal herbs…’ – Japan picks up on the poppy discussion after it already died down


Japan – ‘I had a mental blackout just now. I forgot what I wanted to say.’
Russia – ‘Yeah, we realised.’
Japan forgets his script, much to the dismay of Russia.


‘Did you know DMZs usually become nature reserves? Even if not, if we create a DMZ there, we will essentially drain people out of there, and no people in Sudan means… why not we turn it into a nature reserve?’ – Afghanistan cares more about flora and fauna than people


‘Point of Inquiry! What must I say to get my thumb-drive back?’ – Sudan is swamped by the many parliamentary protocols


‘Parliamentary rules are now reinstated and it shall be moved to a formal debate. There is a fresh speakers’ list to argue about… er… discuss…’ – The Deputy Secretary General made a little slip up there…


'Would any delegate like to vote to pass motion... er... pass a motion?' - Maybe the Deputy Secretary General would be attracted to Russia's sugar-free products


‘From…er…my sources, I have found out that… found out that… found out that…’ – USA has trouble communicating with his ‘sources’


‘Education is the answer? Do you really think that the rebels are going to go to school and learn their ABCs and 123s?’ – Afghanistan underestimates the power of an all-rounded education, complete with passion, purpose and drive


TMUN Director – ‘TMUN has adjourned.’
Ex-USA and Sudan – ‘So does that mean we can speak like normal humans now?’
The relief of the ex-USA and Sudan delegates is clear in their voice and their faces.


‘I am SO quoting that!’ – The Press Corps Editor had a separate Microsoft Word window open for recording interesting statements

Um....

My blog. D'uh.

Where stray bolts(thoughts) get discharged from my head before they ionise every brain cell in my cerebral cortex.

That is... if I had one...



Name: WthameXt

Age: Septumdecim

Education Level: Jay Too

Place of Residence: A jungle with lots of lions...

Occupation: Foreign worker (here's to all you ASEAN scholars out there! ;P)

Likes: Food, Games, Sleep, Lightning

Dislikes: Nothing really...

Religion: Christian!!! And proud of it!!!





More about me here.

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Me Roomie
Rowland
Rowland's tagboard
Myat Noe
Deep thoughts I wish I could write
Bo Er keeps on changing his URL
Miss Laffalot
N312
Terence
Tiong Wei
Matt Chan
Ting Hui
Xi Nan
Mel scribbles
Pastor Kong
Recipes :P
link







Women Rule The World


On The Air


An Interesting Situation


So This is the Power of A'Levels


JCT Woes


JAIHOFORJCTS!!!


H1N1 Woes


Revelation of my Subconscious Self?


"I don't need to be a hero, I just want to help so...


Why?




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