Stray Bolts

Storms rock. There's the sunshine afterward to look forward to.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Green Porno

Ayto: EY MATTHEW go see this video!!!

Matthew: *strange confused noise*

Ayto: Yeah, it's damn cute one!

Matthew: What video?

Ayto: Green Porno.

Matthew:*disbelievingly* Green... Porno...

Ayto: Yeah, go watch go watch!!

Matthew: Uh, what the fish is it about?

Ayto: Uh, yeah, it's a porno movie.

Matthew: WHAT THE FISH NO WAY I'M GONNA WATCH A PORNO MOVIE!!!

Ayto: No, but it's not porno per se!

Chi Yung: WAH what the hell does that mean, man!! What "not porno per se"?

Matthew: Ya lor I mean like what sia!! (I know this doesn't make sense, but hey, Singapore slang...)

Ayto: No no no, it's not a human porno movie...

Matthew: ???

Ayto: Yeah, it's about animals!

Matthew: !!!

Chi Yung: ZOMG you watch animal porn??? Human porn not enough ah?

Matthew: No way man. I already got watch an elephant give birth before and that was disgusting enough without porno being put into it.

Ayto: But it's educational!!!

Chi Yung: WTH MAN!!!

Ayto: Besides, it's not animal porno!

Matthew: Then what is it?

Ayto: It's human doing animal one!

Surya: (looks up from my DS) WTH AYTO YOU'RE INTO THIS KIND OF PORNO???

Ayto: Nonononononono it's not porno!

Surya: Heh? Didn't you just say it was porno?

Matthew: So what, it's some kind of documentary?

Ayto: NO it's much more cuter than that!! *reaches for my com*

Matthew: Ok, now I'm scared. NO WAY ARE YOU INFECTING MY COM WITH YOUR PORNO CRAP, MAN!!!

Ayto: NO BUT IT'S NOT PORNO!!!

Everyone except Ayto: ...

Turns out, the 'Green Porno' was actually a series of short films of animal sexual behaviour, acted out by humans in ridiculous costumes. So it WAS a documentary!!! The kind of documentaries that are meant for kids because they censor things without censoring things. Trust America to come up with this.

Epilogue:

*5 mins later*

Matthew: WALAU WHAT IS THIS SITE??? SO WEIRD!!

Ayto: Eh play play play I wanna watch again! I'm addicted already!

Matthew: ...

For Ayto's version of the story, visit his blog at http://babikotak.blogspot.com.

*Disclaimer to Mum and Dad* It's REALLY not porn. Trust me. And my roomie isn't in the dark side yet.