Confusion 2

My mind is reeling. My head is in a mess. If only I knew how I really felt.


Oh, the confusion! The indecision, the mixed feelings, the forces that threaten to tear my soul apart. No, wait, God keeps my soul intact always. But, forgive me, Lord, it's sometimes a close call.


Take yesterday, for example. Yesterday was the finals of the English Fair presentations, of which we were lucky enough to qualify for. My class was performing a skit on "Youth and Gaming", and I'm proud to say that although we didn't win, we did the best job we could ever have done, and for that already we were happy enough. But then I entered an identity crisis. See, I was acting as a game addict who got so addicted it damaged his mind and personality, who 'coincidentally' behaved like the fictional super-genius L, whom I just happen to think is cool, in a warped kind of way. And now some people see me along the corridors along TJ, and congratulate me for pulling L off with a amused "Hi, L!"


Don't get me wrong. I'm flattered that people think I pulled L off so well. But in the period we were practising, I lived L, I ate like L, I spoke like L, I tried to think like L. Heck, I WAS L. Now that it's over, I find that remnants of L stick with me, and I find myself wanting to go back to becoming L. And it's so confusing. Who am I, really? Am I really more suited to be L? How can I be thinking such a thing anyway? And yet, I am.


And there's more. I'm losing track of my studies. I'm still with the lecturers, but just barely. Some might say that it's just what we can expect from JC life, and I'm inclined to agree, but I think there's something more to it than just that.


Because I'm losing focus. This is the first time it's ever happened this bad. Always taking up the unoccupied brain space, and then invading the rest. Because of the reason for this loss in focus, I was 150% focused on becoming L, and I am slowly not being able to keep up with lessons. This must be purged, definitely, but heaven, help me, I don't know how!!!


If some of this doesn't make sense to you, then it's probably for the best. After all, I forsee bad things in my future if the TJC scholars ever realised what I was talking about here. Sigh...

Um....

My blog. D'uh.

Where stray bolts(thoughts) get discharged from my head before they ionise every brain cell in my cerebral cortex.

That is... if I had one...



Name: WthameXt

Age: Septumdecim

Education Level: Jay Too

Place of Residence: A jungle with lots of lions...

Occupation: Foreign worker (here's to all you ASEAN scholars out there! ;P)

Likes: Food, Games, Sleep, Lightning

Dislikes: Nothing really...

Religion: Christian!!! And proud of it!!!





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